Our love relationship is the place where we want to feel seen, understood and supported. And where there is space for curiosity, growth and joy.
And yet, it is often exactly there, where we most long for connection, that we lose each other. Conversations get stuck in what isn’t working, frustrations build, or each of you retreats into your own world.
Beneath this dynamic is often a deep desire to connect with each other and the pain when that doesn’t happen. Patterns begin to form: one moves closer, for example through questions or criticism, while the other withdraws or becomes quiet.
Couples therapy can be helpful at different moments. Sometimes something happens outside the relationship that turns everything upside down. Sometimes things have been off for a while, and you notice you can’t find your way together. Or when there is a big change, like a move, children leaving home, loss or grief. But also when the relationship feels good, and you want to invest in what you have.
We look at what is happening between you. Not only what goes wrong, but what lies beneath it. What touches you? What do you want? What makes it hard, at times, to show that? In the sessions, I help you put words to what is alive in you, and to meet each other there again.
And sometimes, development in a relationship means that the form changes. That you don’t continue as partners, but remain connected in a different way. That too requires care and attention. We explore how to move through this transition consciously, with care for what you have shared, and attention for what remains, for example, your relationship as parents.
We start with an introduction, in which I meet each of you individually first. This helps me understand what is going on and what each of you hopes for or needs. After that, we continue with joint sessions, usually around five, each lasting 90 minutes. There is about two weeks between sessions, so the process can keep moving and we can stay connected to what happens in between.
You are very welcome.
Op dit moment maak ik een serie begeleide ontmoetingen, Deepen. Elke ontmoeting duurt ongeveer dertig minuten en nodigt uit om te vertragen, nieuwsgierig te kijken en te delen wat er in je leeft. Zo ontstaat ruimte om jezelf, je partner en jullie relatie opnieuw en met open aandacht te zien.
Oefening 1: Elkaar opnieuw zien
Oefening 2: Hoe houd ik me in?
Oefening 3: Geven en ontvangen